when they don't know you're looking...

I'm looking at your face.
It's asleep,
and it's peaceful.
and it's beautiful,
and I think I'm falling in love with it.
wake up baby.

a little poetic rambling....

You've got me down to my derivative,
to my root,
nothing left of skin just shaking bones,
and shoes worn thin from making my way to you.
thank God there's you.

A trip to Opry Mills

I went to Opry Mills today.
I went to Opry Mills in search of a homecoming dress.
A dress to wear to a dance and possibly dinner.
And if you have ever been to the atrocity that is Opry Mills,
you know that it is where obnoxious swarms of people go to do their bidding and perish.
because there are nasty obnoxious irrelevant people everywhere.
absolutely everywhere.
they surround me.
they consume me.
you get to where you bump into enough fat asses and triceps that you feel as if you are all one.
this is how i usually feel when I go to such a place.
but not today.
Today I felt as if I were the only person in the world,
because the only thing in my mind was his face.
and if the face passing me wasn't his beautiful visage,
than they might as well not exist.
I hope he likes the dress.

something...

Something happened to me today.
something happened,
someone.
And it blew my mind like dynamite blasts a mountain,
merciless.
It was a smile.
It was the smile that I've seen everyday for a month now,
but it was different.
Something about that smile reached deep down into the back pocket of my heart and it grabbed it and it yanked and yanked.
And now I'm strung on the string of infatuation,
dangling above the bottomless abyss of black love,
hoping I'm not let go.
He said he won't.
That's not much.
But it's something.

I heard the world today

I heard the world today.
I heard the world,
And the world is all about using you.
I heard the world today and it said this,
It said,
“My dear I’m sorry I make things hard.
I’m sorry love doesn’t come like you want it,
And I’m sorry you love so hard.
I’m sorry you’re hearing me.
I’m sorry that the most natural thing in the world is rejected into space.
Like wasted matter.
But why does the matter matter?
It doesn’t matter.
What matters to you matters to no one else,
And now you’ve let it matter so much,
That matter doesn’t even sound like the word.
You think you’re clever,
But you’re not,
You’re a very clever fool.
Are you listening?”

black and white....

There is someting about a piano.
There is someting about the smooth ivory under my fingers.
like water. trickling down down down until I am submerged in the melody and the chord and eery gasp of beauty that comes with it.
There is something about the ease of the keys.
How a simple push can make magic.
No resistance, no fight, effortless.
Easy.
so, so, easy

Rebound, reverb, and reassurance

There are poetic rumblings from deep within his soul,
and they're spilling spilling spilling.
out into my hands.
i grab handfuls,
but am afraid to fully grasp them.
I'm worried.
worried I'm the rebound and that I'll be bounced bounced back.
And i'll hit the wall, smash!
and the reverb will reverberate until the foundations of the earth shake,
and the stones fall down around me.
I need reassurance,
that I'm not the rebound girl.
because he said it so much.
love, love, love.
her,her,her.
and it wasn't so long ago,
in fact not long at all.
my mind is racing paces, paces,
how can you pace a rebound?
You can't