An Average Day

I love you even when I hate you.
Like right now, right now I hate you.
Right now, I would like nothing better than to slap you across your face.
But I won't do that because I wouldn't get the full satisfaction out of it.
I can't feel anything fully anymore because of you.
Everything that I do, every little joy that I have, you steal a little bit of it.
Because you made me love you.
I hate you.
I hate you so much.
And I hate that I can't hate you all the way because I love you so fucking much.
I cut off all my hair, and bought five inch heels, and drive a hot car, and have men lining up to be with me,
and I can't be fully happy with any of it because of you.
I should be happier than I've been in my whole life but I'm not because I can't be,
because of you.
So I'm gonna give up on trying to be all whole and happy again because that's not gonna happen,
because every day you take something else from me.
So why don't you just take all of me John.
Just take it fucking all.
Stop writing about how you've been tainted by love, and you don't want to love again.
Stop acting like you're the one that's being robbed.
You say you fell in love with the sound and that you want to sing along.
Well the sound is right here, and I love you more than anything.
I love you so much that I can't hate you.
So take me.
Take me for all of it.
Because today wouldn't be a normal day if you didn't take another piece of me.