Jeff

First get out of my car so I can start understanding you.
Take your ratty sweatshirts and boxers and oxfords I never had a taste for J Crew.
I guess I should've known,
that when all a man's best friends are girls,
it's time to hit the road.

The ugly truth is I never did much for you did I?
Your hair always looked better than mine and it sure as hell took more time.
Baby you're gorgeous I swear you look fine.
I don't think you're petty, of course you're not vain.

You said it hurt your feelings when they called you a fag but suck it up why are you crying?
I loved how you were sensitive to all my feminine feelings, like you weren't even trying.
I should've trusted that old intuition,
that any man who's that submissive,
cannot be straight.

The ugly truth is I never did much for you did I?
Your hair always looked better than mine and it sure as hell took more time.
Baby you're gorgeous I swear you look fine.
I don't think you're petty, of course you're not vain.

If there's one thing that hurts even more than the fact that you left.
It's that it wasn't for Marissa, or Alyssa, or Christie, or Gertrude, or Samantha, or Chloe, or Molly, or Claire,
You left me for Jeff.

So thanks a million Jeff,
you stole my boyfriend.
Thanks a shitload Jeff,
you stole my boyfriend.

The ugly truth is I never did much for you did I?
Your hair always looked better than mine and it sure as hell took more time.
Baby you're gorgeous I swear you look fine.
I don't think you're petty, of course you're not vain.
But I do think you're gay.