Cover Letter

I have a big family

with older siblings

who are loud and pretty and talk

a lot.

They all like each other, and people.

I do not like people very much

but I’m not shy.

I say plenty of things sometimes

but not in situations like group dinners

or parties or funerals.

When I talk in these situation

my voice just makes things more crowded.

I have verbal communication issues.

But I write things down really well.

Because of the older siblings,

and because I was fat,

I read lots of books.

Because the books were more interesting

and football looked really fucking awful.

I don’t like people or noise

but sometimes I can handle people or noise.

I went to a concert and sat in the handicapped section.

I really liked that concert.

But then I went to a different one and had to stand up.

The people were a lot closer and therefore it was very rude.

I am very sensitive to rudeness.

If you say you will meet me at four o’clock

and then don’t meet me until 4 o’nine

because your train was late,

I will think you are rude and not meet you places

anymore.

That’s why I’d be good for this job because if I was running late, which I wouldn’t

because I hate rude people,

I would call you until you answered

to let you know where I am and why I’m late

and will have a stranger talk to you on the phone

so you know I’m not rude and I’m trying to get there.

I am the woman for the job

because it involves writing things down,

which I’m good at,

and not coming in direct contact with people,

which I’m also good at.

As long as nobody is rude to me

I’ll make a super great waitress.

If they’re rude to me, I can’t guarantee

that I will not drop their pie on the floor on purpose.

But I would also clean it up on purpose,

because that’s what good waitress’s do.