Gamine

Though externally I was cut with precision

evenly, hanging razors

perplexity fogged my conscience.

When I should have been concentrating

on pulling into the intersection to turn left

or stirring the pot constantly to boil,

I was distracted.

And now

I extend my condolences for the loss of your

sweet lady.

Dearest grandmamma,

I am sorry that my missing ponytail detracts

from my image of godliness

and hinders my ability to appreciate

appropriate table settings.

Cosmopolitan,

I apologize that I must tear out pages 32-35

and 41-47

and 108

that describe so accurately how to get the best

“post booty waves”.

CVS,

to you I really am sincerely woeful.

Your success was dependent on my monthly venture

into the haircare aisle.

A frenzy!

I will see you semi annually now.

I’ll be sure to buy some cigarettes to make up the difference.

Spectacled lady on the subway,

waiter at Chili’s,

stiffed adolescent,

I’m sorry that you can’t see something

sexier..

Sir,

I’m sorry that your woman doesn’t look like a woman,

that you are so frightened

here, hold my hand instead.

I understand the trials you must be under,

quite some trial indeed

not having something to hold onto

when you want to fuck me like a dog.

God knows you need reigns to reel in

your bitch.